The Unexpected

I discovered this past week how bad I am at dealing with the unexpected. I'm not just bad at it, I react atrociously. I am not just talking about pouting (although I did that) or arguing (yes I did that too) or throwing an all out temper tantrum (which happily I can say I didn't do - I am a little more mature than that). I am talking about an all out rejection of the situation with which I was presented - feeling cornered.

Lets preface all of this with a big congratulations to my brother in law - Spencer, and his fiance Sarah. They are getting married on 12/12/12 (yes you are reading correctly) in Hawaii. Yes. Hawaii. Thus the unexpected. I knew that they wanted to get married there, but they made it official and my in-laws officially made it official that they wanted us to be there (to the extent that they would assist with the costs).

Lets just say that, sometimes, I don't react well when someone says "think about it, we need your response by tomorrow afternoon."

Tomorrow afternoon???

Immediately, my brain goes in seventeen different directions. None of which are very flattering to my own sense of self. I start thinking about how we can't afford it. About how Hawaii isn't even on my list of vacation spots. About how I didn't want to make a decision about December in the middle of July. About how I only have 6 days of paid vacation left and they are asking me to save all 6. It ended with me breaking down about how I want to save money for a house and now I am saving for a vacation that has been forced on me.

Lucky for me, I have a wonderful and patient husband who simply allowed me to freak out for a bit before pointing out the painfully obvious in all of this - we are going to Hawaii on vacation in December. How amazing is that? And you know, once I realized that I really did want to go see Spencer and Sarah get married, and I wouldn't mind snorkeling or hanging out with my other family, I realized I was reacting extraordinarily selfishly.

Even though this wasn't in my carefully laid plans, or my budgeting scheme, I get to experience something that I otherwise wouldn't have experienced and I get to do it while celebrating the marriage of two pretty amazing people.

What I am coming to see in all of this, however, is my potential for allowing my plans for my life eclipse what are opportunities for amazing things to happen. What if I get all bent out of shape again next time something comes up that is out of my realm of "the expected" and instead of ending up with the Hawaiian vacation scenario I end up missing out on the opportunity all together. And what if that opportunity was what God wanted for me? What if the unexpected which I pushed out of my life really pushed away what God's will was for me?

What if next time, I don't take the opportunity, and I miss out on relationship with Christ? Am I really that taken with myself that I think that my budget, my plan for my life is all that matters?

I am pretty sure that God has more than just a Hawaiian vacation in store for me if I devote myself to his plan instead of my own. Now I just need to figure out how to stop thinking of mine and start focusing on his.